Alec Baldwin stars in NBC’s “30 Rock” and in “The Departed.” He spoke with Nicki Gostin.

I had to start shooting at 6 this morning. Besides, I can’t stand to watch myself. Yada yada. Every actor says that.

No, it’s true. The purpose of a movie is to be entertained, and watching yourself is the opposite of being entertained. I barely watch movies at screenings because it seems so artificial–it’s a house full of friends. Is it weird when you know it’s a s—ty movie and at the premiere everyone’s cheering?

[ Laughs ] If I know it’s s—ty, I don’t go to the premiere. We can’t say “s—ty” in NEWSWEEK, can we?

I’m on a regimen where I’m killing myself. I’m going to be on the runway next season. I’m going to model for Ralph Lauren. It’ll be fabulous. “Page Six” says you annoyed Sarah Michelle Gellar on a set recently.

You know what I find interesting? It doesn’t say who says that. I never had one word with her that wasn’t pleasant.

To be honest, I don’t really care how I’m characterized by (a) those types of people and (b) my ex-wife’s divorce lawyers. You’re writing a book about divorce. Do you think men get the short stick in custody cases?

Do I think or do I know ? Childhood alienation syndrome is overwhelmingly a woman-on-man crime. Divorce court is a civil court that hands out criminal penalties.

The two are mutually exclusive.

If your 20-year-old son had died suddenly, the last thing on your mind might be hopping on a catamaran 18 days later to get hitched. But you’re not Anna Nicole Smith, whose son, Daniel, died after taking a lethal combination of antidepressants and methadone (only three days after Smith gave birth to a girl). She then sold the rights to the last photos of Daniel, holding his new sister, for an undisclosed sum. Smith and her lawyer Howard K. Stern exchanged vows, but (according to her other lawyer) this isn’t a formal, legal arrangement.

So what is it? Most likely an effort to freeze out Smith’s ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead. Birkhead says he, not Stern–who claimed paternity on “Larry King Live” –is the baby’s father. Smith is saying nothing; she went into seclusion after her son’s death. We hope it didn’t put a damper on the wedding or whatever it was.

Jac Chebatoris

Readers’ Choice .

Don’t let the name fool you–she may be called Pink, but the girlishness stops there. The edgy pop singer kicked off her “I’m Not Dead” European tour sitting on some heavy metal during her show in Switzerland. Vote for next week’s photo Thursday at noon, ET, at Newsmakers.NEWSWEEK.com .